I lead a double life. I am a Candace Bushnell novel’s equivalent to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Every Monday, my Bose alarm rouses me to a fresh start (it’s not as inspiring as that Nike commercial where people run marathons at 5am, but it’ll do). I get up, go to work, order my egg whites from Medina (goat cheese omelet), skim the Style section at Page Six (toss “real” news), order my salad from Medina (Cobb), go to the Equinox on Broadway and hit the elliptical (30 minutes), contort into Laughing Lotus yogic poses worthy of Christy Turlington’s cover of TIME magazine (well almost) and am tucked in before midnight (Sleepytime tea and Melatonin, the combo does wonders). The perfect image of health and serenity, right? Skip to Saturday. Yes sir, bring on the American Spirits (I must go natural when my chain-smoking would make a Parisian cringe), bring on the booze (Grey Goose sodas only please), bring on the occasional pick me up (how else am I going to stay up til 4am?) and bring on the Cheetos at 5am (or whatever I can find at the corner deli)cause all that banquette booty-shakin can make a girl hungry! Working out? I’m lucky to leave my apartment let alone get to a gym. Waking up? Not before noon thank you. The paper? The Wall Street who? I wallow in ignorance and gluttony and I love every minute of it. Then come Monday, I’m back on my diet of downward dogs, detox drinks and the Daily Show to clear my organs and mind until another brutal bashing on Friday.
Final Word: Some would say I lead a balanced life- one good thing cancels one bad thing out, right? Others might say I’m insane. You decide.
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