Friday, March 30, 2007

The Idol Diet

Ever since Jennifer Hudson generated Oscar buzz and morphed into a bombshell, incredible shrinking American Idol alumni are everywhere. From Kelly to Carrie to Katherine McPhee, these slimming songbirds are shedding some serious LBs and everyone seems to be taking notice.

It’s a little something we like to call “The Idol Diet,” and quite frankly, we want to get on it.

For any of you who may watch AI as frequently and obsessively as we do, you may recall last season’s Katherine McPhee. She began as the pretty, fat girl-type. A solid size twelve on a good day. The stylists did a fine job of masking it but girl was still packing.

(Disclaimer: I am not trying to give anyone an eating disorder, it is our culture’s cruel and distorted perception of beauty that makes me speak this way. I took women’s studies, I know all about it).

Anyway, back to the fatties. This month, McPhee is pictured on the cover of SELF magazine as a trim, toned and tanned picture of good health. She looks about 130, and the camera (as we ALL know) adds 10 lbs, so you do the math.

But who can blame them? Unless you’re Aretha Franklin—same rule applies to this season’s La Keisha—big girls don’t sell albums. Pretty pop tarts do.

And it goes both ways. Chris Sligh, this season’s mildly entertaining “funny fat kid” (the socially acceptable male-counterpart to the “pretty fat girl’) got booted in the last eliminations round. And while he oh-so-cleverly claimed he was “bringing chubby back” all season long, he should have known it takes a lot more than a few David Hasslehoff jokes to make America love a fat kid.

Final Word: Chris, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Idol Diet, stat.

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