Scenedigging 101

Every now and then my girlfriends and I find that the English vocabulary fails to serve us when it comes to discussing the trials and tribulations of our lives. Thus, we resort to creating a new terminology.

For example, “groovies” was born a few years back when trying to describe the phenomenon of girls chasing and bedding celebrity DJs across the nation in exchange for a couple minutes of booth time at a hot club. Then there was “BBM”, a useful acronym for the ever-agonizing Blackberry Messenger.

But the latest moniker of note comes from our most recent experiences which have provided enough douchebags to cover VH1 producers with the cast of I Love New York III. In fact, the douchebag factor was so high that it merited its own word: scenediggers.

The definition of a scenedigger is one who essentially latches himself onto a girl who has more going on than he does in order to gain higher social visibility. You’ve seen these dudes – Brandon Davis, Brody Jenner, Jason Wahler, Frankie Whatever-The-Fuck-His-Name-Is from The Hills, or K-Fed, the patron saint of scenediggers.

Girls take warning. Before you know it, they’re crawling on your backs at the velvet rope, ingratiating themselves with your already-happening friends, and up your ass high enough to get to the next notch of that never-ending social ladder. But don’t fret, we have some crucial clues on how to spot them before they’re uploading your pics onto their “Party Like A Rock Star IV” Facebook album.

1) They name drop. A lot.
2) Their favorite eateries are STK, Cipriani Downtown, and Nello Summerime.
3) If you meet them it will be at either Tenjune, Gold Bar or some hotspot (most likely at the door, since they can’t get in on their own).
4) Wardrobe staples include: deep v-necks, vests and “man-minas” (the male pashmina).
5) They reference D-list celebrities by their first names and say things like “No, they’re actually pretty cool.”

Final Word: In a cultural climate where scenediggers flourish and real men are nowhere to be found, you never know when your next encounter might be. But take our word of advice, if you do meet an S.D., run. We mean it, run