Courteney Is Ridin' Dirt-y

Last night, FX debuted the much-anticipated premier of "Dirt,” a new celebrity-centered drama starring Courteney Cox as editrix of the glossies, Lucy Spiller.

Although all of the components of guilty pleasure were in place—promising leading lady, racy subject matter, and free use of all things inappropriate (this is FX)—the show served up little more than its title.

Cox, whom I neither love nor dislike, fell short in the role. I was expecting the brilliant bitchiness she brought to her character in the "Scream" trilogy. Instead, she delivered a flat performance, falling victim to bad writing and contrived born-to-be-bitchy situations.

Does she fire a junior writer when she calls a “bitch” over BBM (that's Blackberry Messanger, btw)? Yes. Does she zap her date with a stun gun when he tries to get intimate? Without hesitation. But did she frighten or intimidate me while doing it? Not in the slightest. She's dull as a butter knife, not razor sharp.

But Cox is the least of the show’s problems. The real trouble lies in completely unoriginal story lines and poor casting. Rick Fox as a philandering NBA star? Shannyn Sossamon—who I used to like, "Rules of Attraction," "40 Days and 40 Nights"—as a suicidal coke-whore starlet with baby’s mama drama?

These story lines are far more interesting when they happen in real life, and since Hollywood keeps fucking up and giving us more to read about, why should we care to watch the faux version on TV?

The show’s one saving grace, and the part a find the most disturbing and surprising, is British actor Ian Hart’s portrayal of the schizophrenic paparazzi Don Konkey. You can feel, touch and almost taste his complete and utter insanity.

And although the character makes you completely uncomfortable, the depiction of his craziness as an illness humanizes the paparazzi rather than vilifying them. On a show made by Hollywood people about Hollywood people, I would think the opposite would be true. Hmm.

Final Word: “Dirt” definately keeps it dirty, but that’s about it. If I want to watch a juicy FX series based in LA, I will have to wait for McNamara/Troy to set up shop in Beverly Hills on the next season of “Nip/Tuck.” Talk about anticipation.